Showing posts with label agitated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label agitated. Show all posts

Friday, 2 May 2014

Inclusion Matters, or does it?

More than a year has passed since I was referred to the NHS mental health service, Inclusion Matters, and it seems I might have eventually got my "initial assessment". 


Early in 2013 I was referred by my GP to the Inclusion Matters mental health service. I called the opt in number after following what the referral letter stated. I was told that the woman who deals with my area was not yet in the office and that after leaving my contact number she would call me back. I was then asked if they could leave a message on that number should I not be available to which I replied yes. The call back never came and I moved home about a month later so in the unlikely event that they did call back after this time I was unable to receive such calls. 

In January 2014 I was referred to the Inclusion Matters mental health service by my GP after I had to visit hospital due to self injuring. I followed the instructions given in the referral letter and called the opt in number after waiting 2 days. I was told that the woman who deals with my area was not yet in the office and that if I left my contact number she would call me back. I was then asked if they could leave a message on that number should I not be available to which I replied yes. 

The call back never came.

After 2 weeks I went back to my GP who advised me to keep calling until they actually do what they are supposed to do. I called many times over the following weeks and eventually I actually managed to get through to the woman who deals with my area (despite being told countless times that they would call me back when she is in or when she is not busy). Feeling relieved that I was actually getting somewhere I thought an appointment was forthcoming. Instead I was told that they had no record of a referral since 2013 and that I would again have to go back to my GP to get one. The woman also said I'd need to wait "at least 4 days before ringing" despite the referral letters always stating 2 days.

It took nearly 3 months to get in touch with the right person at Inclusion Matters and then despite the fact that I had seen my GP send the referral fax in January 2014 they deny it even existed.

I made yet another appointment to see my GP within 2 days of being told by Inclusion Matters that they had not received my recent referral. My GP was not at all happy with Inclusion Matters and sent a new referral on 25th March 2014 which I again saw being faxed. 

I waited the 4 days as I was told by the Inclusion Matters woman and called the opt in number. Oh what a surprise to find that the woman for my area was busy and she would take my number, call me back or leave a message for me if I'm not available.

The callback never came yet again. 

I tried again a few days later and got the same response. I've since come to the conclusion when Inclusion Matters say I'll get a "call back" what they actually mean is "we don't give a damn about you and the only way you are ever going to be dealt with is if you are lucky enough to choose a time to call when they aren't busy", no matter how many times they say otherwise.

I had given up. I needed to see my GP for a check up and to get more medication soon so I told myself I'll tell her again what has happen with regards to Inclusion Matters and no doubt she would lodge an official complaint or something similar as she would not be happy.

The 25th Anniversary of the horrific Hillsborough tragedy came and Inclusion Matters posted the following Tweet:
Which I found laughable. How do they expect to help someone who has been dealing with such a horrific event for 25 years when they can't even make a simple callback to some who has been trying to get help from their service for 4 months?

I responded to their Tweet:

I emailed and explained to them everything that had occurred since my 2013 referral to the mysterious missing referral and the most recent referral and the "callbacks" that never took place. I was hopeful that maybe now I would be able to get the help I have been trying to get from Inclusion Matters since 2013. 

April 25th arrived and I received a letter from Inclusion Matters (no single person just signed as Inclusion Matters). The letter makes out it's my fault that I was not getting the help I was referred for. Stating "we are happy to reinstate your referral from 27.03.14". If they had actually called me back then there would have been no need to reinstate anything it was Inclusion Matters that caused the referral to lapse. I called them, it wasn't my fault that every time I called they said they'd call me back and then didn't. 

Despite all of this I again called Inclusion Matters to opt in and in this letter I was given a different number to call. When I called the new number I was then told I had called the wrong number even though this was the new number given to me in the most recent letter I had received. I eventually got through to the right person and after more than a year I now have a date and time for my initial telephone assessment. It still however remains to be seen if they'll actually call me as they don't seem to like doing that.

The whole point of being referred to the Inclusion Matters service was to get help in dealing with various mental health problems I am dealing with yet so far the only thing it has done has made them much worse.

02/05/2014


Depression Questionnaire (PHQ9):
Your Depression Score is 27/27

Anxiety Questionnaire (GAD7):
Your Anxiety Score is 21/21

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Support or Not?

Tomorrow is causing me no end of stress, anxiety and agitation and it's really getting me down just thinking about it. With all of the bad publicity that ATOS has had over the past 5 years or more I'm dreading attending the assessment. My GP doesn't think I'm in the right mental state to be working at present and neither does my therapist nor my counsellor and with the amount of time I have to spend in different sessions trying to get control over my mental health I don't have time to work at the same time and doubt any employer would permit me time out every few days to attend these sessions. I look forward to the day I can be back amongst others who are employed but at present my mental illnesses don't make that a viable prospect. 

I'm so tense and agitated I haven't been able to sleep much at all. I just want supporting until I recover and am able to have some sort of normality back in my life which has been the goal for at least 5 years but is still such a long way off. I have made significant ground since I first started suffering but there is still a long way until the end unless an alternative ending occurs in the mean time and I often get so stressed and depressed that I think of creating my own ending (and have attempted a few times in the past few months alone - which I'm not proud of). I just hope that I am assessed properly so I can continue to make my way towards overcoming or at least managing my mental health.




16/04/2013

Depression Questionnaire (PHQ9):
Your Depression Score is 27/27

Anxiety Questionnaire (GAD7):
Your Anxiety Score is 21/21

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Delta Machine


It seems such a long time since I have been able to look to the future and see something worth living for yet for the first time in months I actually have something to look forward to. 

Depeche Mode have a new album "Delta Machine" out this year and I can't wait to hear it. Their music is one of the few things I have found to be able to calm and distract me when I'm really down and agitated. It's an escape that let's me forget the my life and immerse myself in a world of electronic masterpieces.

My life may stay the stressful, anxiety ridden, manic depressive mess it is now but at least there will soon be a new soundtrack in which I can escape to "Heaven" before calling in the "Delta Machine".



29/01/2013

Depression Questionnaire (PHQ9):
Your Depression Score is 22/27

Anxiety Questionnaire (GAD7):
Your Anxiety Score is 21/21

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Drained

The past few days have been a real pain in the ass. I have spent a huge amount of time barely able to keep myself awake. I have been completely drained. I haven't even been able to keep my eyes open at times as they hurt too much and my eyeballs have been red. At times i haven't had the energy to move and I lost my appetite. I haven't felt this agitated, angry and down for more than 3 years and I'm not sure what the cause is. 

I can't stand my unpredictable flicking between moods at the best of times but the past week has been ridiculous. In the past week I've had more mood changes than I've had meals and the bad moods have been overly violent and aggressive. 

I just hope that i can get some sort of normality back to my life and less mood changes over the coming week or so.




26/01/2013

Depression Questionnaire (PHQ9):
Your Depression Score is 27/27

Anxiety Questionnaire (GAD7):
Your Anxiety Score is 21/21

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Coincidence?


Last week I got made to feel like a thief by HMV because they had made mistakes with their pricing of stock but wouldn't admit to it this week it seems they have gone into administration. Coincidence?

I can't say I am surprised after the experience I had last week. It will be a shame if the store goes but if all of the staff are as rude and idiotic as those in the Birkenhead store then they only have themselves to blame.

On another topic, I have to attend another session at Ingeus next Tuesday and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I've been visiting them for about 9 months and have still yet to have any idea what I'm there for. I'm supposed to have an advisor but so far I'm on my third one despite still not knowing what I'm going there for or what I am expected to achieve  All I know is that so far I just get ridiculously stressed out everytime I go there and leave knowing nothing more than when I arrived.



15/01/2013

Depression Questionnaire (PHQ9):
Your Depression Score is 24/27

Anxiety Questionnaire (GAD7):
Your Anxiety Score is 21/21

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

HMV Agitation


First week of the new year and already been made to feel like a thief. 

I received a HMV gift card for Christmas and thought I'd visit the Birkenhead branch and see if there was anything I wanted. I looked around and found Paloma Faith's Fall To Grace and Apocalyptica's 7th Symphony [CD+DVD edition] stickered with 2 for £10. I thought to myself this is a nice bargain so I picked up a copy of each and took them to the checkout. The tallish slim guy with glasses at the checkout scanned them through and they both went up as 2 for £10. He then looked at the Paloma Faith CD and said this shouldn't be in this offer and started to struggle for a few moments to pick off the sticker which was firmly on. He then asked me to wait whilst he spoke to the manager, an average sized man with rather to much hair spray in his hair as it didn't move at all when he moved. The two men came over and the manager started saying that kids must have swapped stickers off another CD onto the Paloma Faith CD as the sticker peels off easily. He ignored the fact that I told him that the checkout guy had struggled to peel the sticker before he took it to him and also failed to explain why the CD scanned through as being 2 for £10. Instead he spoke to me as though I had done something wrong and then walked away to an oldish staff member with a grey beard and ponytail and glasses and they both proceeded to point and laugh as I walked out of the store empty handed. I returned home feeling rather agitated and stressed and let down by a store that I have always had respect for. No more do I have any respect for HMV or it's staff at the Birkenhead store.

I attended a session at Ingeus today after receiving a text yesterday asking me to turn up 30 minutes later than my scheduled appointment only to find that my adviser wasn't there at all as he was ill. A wasted journey as all that happened was I was given a new appointment and then went home.

A completely wasted and unproductive day. Let's hope this isn't a sign of how the rest of 2013 is going to be.



08/01/2013

Depression Questionnaire (PHQ9):
Your Depression Score is 27/27

Anxiety Questionnaire (GAD7):
Your Anxiety Score is 21/21